Give Thanks

I want to say thank you for all mine & Matt's friends that have been there for both of us.

Thanks for ever text-ing, writing a card/letter, sending a box or praying for him. He really does appreciate it. Thanks for being there for me yall. I really can`t tell ya how important it was to me to have that "group of people" I could be comfortable with and just hang out. Thanks for praying for me too. Besides our families, yall made my time waiting for my husband fly by. I love my girls! Yall picked me up even on days I know no one knew I was upset. I love yall boys (I know Matt does too)! Yall were my "body guards" and a reminder that Matt grew up with some great guys! Everyone of yall helped me in some way or another. So I say THANKS!!!!! Yall are a great group of friends!

Merry Christmas!

"Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us." Matthew 1:23(KJV)

Christmas.....what is the first thing that pops in your head? Presents, Santa, Lights, Christmas Trees, Shopping, Parties (the list could go on & on). Is Jesus the first thing you think of? Many of us no, not that we don`t love Jesus, but sometimes Christmas starts taking on a life of it's own.

God sent his ONLY Son to come live on this not so great earth and live with us AND then die for us. Crazy.....but usually that is God. So today while trying to wrap those last minute presents, while getting food ready for tomorrow, while rushing off the family to the church service tonight, stop & tell Jesus HAPPY BIRTHDAY! That little baby is the only reason we can go to Heaven. Don`t let things push Jesus aside, remember "He is the reason for the season!" Merry Christmas!!

P.S. And a Happy New Year!

Jealous Much????

Close your eyes.....(well read this first then close your eyes!) who is that one person you wish you were like? Got the name in your head.....now think, why? Why do you wish you were like them? Are they one of those girls who doesn`t have to wear make up? Are they one of those girls who always have the cutest clothes? Are they one of those stay at home moms who you feel does everything perfect? Are they a strong Christian women no matter what?

Why are we jealous of those women we pictured in our heads? I`m jealous of a women who is such a strong Christian all the time. I try so hard but I feel like I always fall short. Now I know, I shouldn`t be a Christian because of someone else, don`t worry I`m not. I just will forget to do devotion and think, "Well she probably doesn't do that!", stuff like that. I know yall know what I`m talking about. A famous person I`m jealous of is Paula Deen, I want to be her so bad! I love cooking & baking and anything to do with her I`m ALL about!

This is kind of cliche, but just remember next time you think of that "perfect women" you so want to be. There is someone out there who thinks you are that "perfect women"! We have all had those times that someone says something great about something you do and you think,"really??". Take that to heart girls!

Why Don`t We Fight More....

Matt had a friend who was fighting cancer, her name was Vickie. She passed away today. I never met her, but when Kendal called and told me I just couldn`t get it out of my mind. It just broke my heart for the family. In situations like these you can`t help but get mad, but why? She is with God.....there is nothing better then that. But being left here on earth, it is hard not to want them here with you.

Vickie fought with cancer, she wanted her life. But why don`t we fight more too. Drinking heavily, regular tobacco, tanning, drugs, driving recklessly, just all the dumb things we do that could change our lives forever. Do you think twice about it? At a young age, a lot of people don`t (I`m not saying I`m a saint. There are for sure things I could change to help prolong my life) God put us here for a reason. Why do we just throw it back in His face? Really because we are selfish. Which is sad.

Be respectful to Vickie, think twice before you do those things that can harm your life forever. You just never know when or how God will call you home.

Whats in a Name.....

When you get married (and even sometimes before) baby names get thrown around. Matthew & I like for boys Parker & Corbin, for girls Maci & Maybrey. Don`t even think about stealing them!! hahaha....no really, I`ll be pissed : )

I am kinda crazy about names. Since I do not care for my name (Marian, I like the name Logan), I want great names for our kids. I go by my initials, and I wish so bad I went by just a name. It is either ML, Mel, Emil, Melly or whatever. When someone does say Marian I look around like, "who??".

I looked up my names and you want to know what they mean? Marian can either be a boy or girl name. It peaked during 1920 to 1930. It means uncertain, maybe bitter....whoa, but wait it gets better. Logan is for boys and it means hollow. So my name is uncertain (bitter) hollow. Does that describe me yall? I hope not haha! Now even better then all that Matthews name meaning. Gift of God......yeah....trust me, he has reminded me this about 100 times! His middle name Gregory means Watcher. So he is Gift of God Watcher. I think that totally describes him. He is my Gift of God and he Watches over me <3

So if you are bored look your name up! You might get a laugh : )

20% There, 100% Love

When Matt comes home at the end of April 2010, he will have been in the Army 2 years. In those two years, we will have been around each other 5 1/2 months.......yeah I know.

He went to basic first in OK, I saw him maybe 3 days when he graduated. Then he went to Maryland for AIT, I saw him 2 days there. He came home for a holiday for 3 days. Then he came home for 2 weeks for the wedding and honeymoon. That is around 3 weeks. Then we lived together for 4 months. He was then deployed. Then in January he gets his R & R which is like 2 weeks.

Now I know it is sad that I have only seen my husband that much in 2 years. And if you would have ever told me that before I met Matthew, I would have thought, "well that wouldn`t have worked out". But my love for him has not changed since that first day. It doesn`t even phase me too. I`m just so thankful God sent me Matthew. There is no one else other then him that I could have done this with. My love for him has gone beyond what I ever thought I could do. It just shows me that God really knew what he was doing.

God is Banging on my Door!

I talked to Matthew on Thursday before I left for Auburn. I waited all weekend for a call but.....nothing. I texted (not sure if that is correct English??) him and usually he will text me saying, "Calm down, I`m fine, call you when I can," but.....nothing. So Sunday night I was WAY worried. Now, I`m not always worried about him, just some days are worse then others, and this was one of those days! So I laid in my bed and balled my eyes out, usually the only place I like to cry. I just prayed and prayed to God. "Please keep him safe and please let me hear from him soon" I prayed for probably 5 minutes. Then I heard my text alert go off. It was Matthew saying, "I love you. Glad your home, everything is fine." Then I started crying harder. I was pouring my heart out to God, and He took care of me. This is the second time this week that I just felt like God was talking RIGHT TO ME!

So God, you have my attention! I already felt last week that I needed to try harder at being a better Christian but WOW now I just feel rude if I didn`t! Even though I feel alone, like the third wheel, like everyone's lives are going on like normal and mine's on hold, that my best friend is not here to confide in & kiss......even though I feel like I`m on my own, I have God. He is always there listening to me and watching me. (sigh) He is such a great Man!

The Suffering Servant

Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this? The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through his bruises we get healed. We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost. We've all done our own thing, gone our own way. And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him. He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word. Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence. Justice miscarried, and he was led off— and did anyone really know what was happening? He died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of my people.
They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man, Even though he'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true. Still, it's what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he'd see life come from it—life, life, and more life. And God's plan will deeply prosper through him. Out of that terrible travail of soul, he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it. Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many "righteous ones," as he himself carries the burden of their sins.
Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly— the best of everything, the highest honors—
Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch, because he embraced the company of the lowest. He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many, he took up the cause of all the black sheep.
Isaiah 53, The Message

My devoation today had this passage in it. When I read it I felt like I got hit in the stomach. I read it and just stopped. I have never had a moment like I felt like God was like, "WAKE UP!" But wow I really felt it after reading it. I just sat and prayed and cried to God. We all work at being a better Christian. I work on talking about people, being nicer and not worrying so much about my looks. I struggle and lately I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. I still prayed and thanked God when something good happened. But I could just tell I wasn`t going any where. This passage opened my eyes. We think it is hard to be a Christian.....try being Jesus. And the thing is, He never fell. The devil tried but He kept on!

Also what got me was this was written hundreds of years before Jesus was born. Isn`t that crazy???? God knows it all. Sometimes I wonder how am I going to do this or pay for that. And I promise you, God ALWAYS provides. Never fails! It is just amazing, I can`t even wrap my mind around it! God is really great : )

Half Full or Half Empty

Today is a big day..........................HALF WAY THROUGH DEPLOYMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can not believe we are this far. And now it is all down hill from here. Also today Matthew and I have been married 10 months. I miss my husband more then ever.

Today I was thinking about how it is a little over 2 months till Matt is home for R & R. Last February was 2 months before Matthew left. Those 8 weeks felt so short. I wish so bad at that moment that time would slow down. Now it is close to being 8 weeks till he is back and now it feels like the longest time ever. I wish time would speed up! This is where the saying, "Glass half full or half empty" really fits. It is weird you can take the same amount of time but have two totally different perspectives. Last February the glass was half empty, I was depressed and sad. Now the glass is half full, I can not even explain to you my excitement for when he is home.

But always, it is how you see it. Trust in God and He can always make you see not so fun situations as half full : )

That Boy Sitting on the Cooler.....

I LOVE this weather! I love when you can wear jeans and a long sleeve shirt and not have to carry a jacket. It's the best.....but it does make me miss Matthew. This weather reminds me of the time I met him and feel in love (sappy, I know).

First semester of my sophomore year of college started off normal. Once the weather changed, we had bon fires about every weekend. One particular night at a bon fire I looked up and saw this boy sitting on a cooler staring at me. My first thought was, "Who is that? He is cute!". I realized I had a class with him, he was a freshmen, and I knew his name was either Case, Brad or Matt. I was dating someone else that first semester of college. But every bon fire "that boy sitting on the cooler" was there staring at me, and I couldn't help but stare back at him : ) One bon fire he was trying to act cool. I was sitting on a tailgate with some girlfriends and he went to sit in a chair right in front of me. One of his friends pulled the chair out from under him and he fell right under my feet. I leaned over and asked, "Are you okay?" hahaha If we only knew! Anyways, second semester rolled around and my relationship at the time ended. I went to workout and the only other person in the gym was "that boy sitting on the cooler". I got home and wrote him an e-mail and it was all over from there. The first time we "talked" in person was a cold night after a basketball game. The first time we kissed was a cold night after a bon fire. The first time he told me he loved me was a cold night sitting outside his house.

So every time it is cold and I smell a fire. I think of "that boy sitting on the cooler" in jeans, boots, a long sleeve shirt with a short sleeve shirt over it and his (BLAH) Alabama hat on. It just makes a huge smile come across my face. It takes me back every time. I can not wait for the day I get to see "that boy sitting on the cooler" again <3

3 Months till R & R

Today is 3 months till Matt comes home for 2 weeks for R & R. At the end of this month he will have been gone 6 months, half way! I can not wait for the day to see him again. Just searching for a picture for my blog made me get butterflies just looking at his pictures : ). It will have been 8 months when we FINALLY see one another, crazy huh?!?!

With him being gone a year, my life has been "on hold". Couples are buying houses, having kids and enjoying being married. Part of me is jealous of all those happy couples. Now I`m not saying we are going to have kids soon. We got about 2 years or so. But the fact that they CAN is what I`m jealous of. I wish more then anything in this world I could lay down in my bed tonight and Matthew be there. I wish when I have a crappy day I could come home and cry about it to him. I wish I could just sit and watch TV with him. I wish we could do "married people activities" (wink wink).

So any happy couples I know or pass by if I: a.) ignore you b.) give you a mean look c.) run away crying......don`t take it personally.