Samaritan Women

I have wondered off the path AGAIN. I`ll be so good for weeks and then BOOM, I trip & I stay down. Then I look at others and see how good Christians they are and I think, "Am I the only one who struggles with my walk?" I know that isn`t true but do you feel like that too sometimes? Like for others it is so easy & for you self it is the hardest thing ever? Ugh......I feel more like the Samaritan women (don`t worry I don`t have 5 husbands!). I just mean I feel like the bottom of the "model Christian" pole. How can God love a sinner like me? Who judges, gossips,  & puts things before God. The Samaritan women was longing for that hole in her heart to be filled (rememebr 5 husbands?), but we know God is the only one who can. I know I do that. I try to by trying to be the best at everything (clothes, decorating, cooking, sewing, working out) . I strive so hard, but at the end of the day there is something missing. Hmmmm I wonder what it is......Oh yes JESUS! Those things can`t fill the hole that only He can fill, but I still try to. Oh the woes of being a sinner. So I just want to put it out there, I`m not the best Christian sometimes, but I do love God & I try. I know He knows that.

Crazy Lady....

Here is my sleeping mask I made & monogrammed. 2 years ago at Christmas I bought a sleeping mask. Now I can`t not.....I really mean that.....sleep with out it. Ask my husband, once I left it somewhere else. That night I tied a sweater around my head so I could sleep haha. I`m a crazy lady, I know.

My mother bought me a sleeping mask for my past b-day, but some of the string was coming out & tickling my nose. So while I was laying in bed I thought, "I should make one & monogram it!" So I did & it was much harder then I was thinking. But I think it came out quite cute! The fabric is actually sample fabric for upholstery. I use to work at a furniture store & when the fabric was discontinued the sample fabric was thrown out. So my boss would let us take the samples.

Sewing Room.....

Last week my tonsils were killing me, but I didn`t have a cold. About the middle of the week I thought I was better. Well Matt got sick but he had a cold w/ his tonsils hurting. And guess who he gave it back to.....me....ugh. I can`t breathe, I`m achy & my tonsils hurt : ( This also means I can`t go run, which makes me very upset! Pity party is over now......

When we first moved here my sewing "room" was our dining table.

My sewing/embroidery machine is loud, & my husband would give me dirty looks from his blue chair in the den (The blue chair is a WHOLE NOTHER story). So we went to the local Walmart & Matt bought me a card table (came with 4 chairs) for my machine. So I put it up in the spare bedroom upstairs. But with guest coming & going, I had to put my machine up for blow up mattress. SO finally I set everything back up. And this is my sewing room.

Well sewing room/Army storage room. But I like it, I pull up the blinds & our big oak tree is my view. Kitty sits on the window seal & looks out the window while I scream, cry & almost curse haha. The fabric on the ground is a project I`m working on. I wanted to show a photo of the dress I made for my niece.

This is Miss Finley....she is chubby & I miss her SOOOO much. Anyways I made a dress for her before I moved. With moving & the whole sewing room thing, I had put off putting her name on it. While then I saw this photo & I thought, "Oh no she might be too chubby if I don`t send it soon!" SO I finished it yesterday.

The fabric is from Wal-mart. The pattern I got from JoAnn's Fabrics. Very simple dress to make, great for summertime : )

Questions for God......

Stories of children with cancer go straight to my heart every time. I just watched a video of a little girl with brain cancer at her birthday party. I just sat there balling my eyes out. Those sweet little babies have not done one thing wrong. I know God has a reason for everything but in those times it is hard to see why. I`m 25 years old, & I have done stuff to my body that isn`t healthy. I have have sinned, a lot, but I`m still here. God hasn`t taken me home.

When my friends came to visit us here, my girlfriends & I had a long talk about God and all. A girl from our college (I didn`t know her) died, she was a strong Christian. We were just talking about how we are taught God has a reason for each of us being here. And there is something we are suppose to do. We talked about, once you do your "reason for being a live", what happens then? You died? I know there are no answers. Only God knows but you can`t help but wonder.

What I Miss About Home.....

I miss the ranch. I miss riding around with the windows down just looking at the land. The ranch is where Matt asked me to marry him.

I miss downtown. I worked there, ate lunch there & shopped there. It is the best downtown EVER.

I miss my parents. They are the coolest & best parents ever. They support me & Matt in whatever we do. It makes me tear up looking at this photo. It will have been 6 month when I finally see them. I`m the baby of the family....this can explain all of me.

My sisters (Ambrey, Hayley, Brannan, Ashton & me). If you have sisters you understand. You can yell & scream at them but no matter what they love you & ALWAYS have your back. They are your best  friends for life wheater you like it or not : )

My friends. They beside my sisters, love me no matter what. I have lived with each one of these girls & they still love me. That is a BIG deal haha. They are great friends and I wouldn`t trade them for anything!

This girl. She sat with me EVERY night. She listened to me cry and complain about my husband being at war. She put her life on hold for a year for me. I don`t know how to ever show her my thanks.

I have always lived in my hometown. I am 4th generation there. In high school you think, "I can`t wait to leave". But once you are older you see this is the place you want to raise your kids. It is a great place and I love it. There is no place like home <3