Samaritan Women

I have wondered off the path AGAIN. I`ll be so good for weeks and then BOOM, I trip & I stay down. Then I look at others and see how good Christians they are and I think, "Am I the only one who struggles with my walk?" I know that isn`t true but do you feel like that too sometimes? Like for others it is so easy & for you self it is the hardest thing ever? Ugh......I feel more like the Samaritan women (don`t worry I don`t have 5 husbands!). I just mean I feel like the bottom of the "model Christian" pole. How can God love a sinner like me? Who judges, gossips,  & puts things before God. The Samaritan women was longing for that hole in her heart to be filled (rememebr 5 husbands?), but we know God is the only one who can. I know I do that. I try to by trying to be the best at everything (clothes, decorating, cooking, sewing, working out) . I strive so hard, but at the end of the day there is something missing. Hmmmm I wonder what it is......Oh yes JESUS! Those things can`t fill the hole that only He can fill, but I still try to. Oh the woes of being a sinner. So I just want to put it out there, I`m not the best Christian sometimes, but I do love God & I try. I know He knows that.