Blah.........

That is how I feel right now. I feel like I'm a zombie, just walking around looking for a brain to eat (gross sorry). I guess I'm in a rut with life. I'm just so ready to go, but I don't want to leave, it is a strange feeling. Don't get me wrong, I want to live with my husband. I CANT WAIT FOR THAT! Waking up to him laying in bed with me....I have waited a year for that! But last time I was there for only 4 months & it felt like a year. Now I'm going for a year and it will feel like being away from L Dubb forever! My whole family is here. The worst  is when you call home and everyone is over at Mommy & Daddy's (yes we are grown women who call our parents that) & they are all laughing in the background. Ugh. But I want to leave BAD, so that is where I get stuck. I would give ANYTHING to be with my husband again. It isn't like I don't want to go. A quote from Little Women (I love that movie) I feel fits my attitude, "I love our home, but I'm just so fitful and I can't stand being here!" Jo March. That is exactly how I feel. I love my home but I can't stand being here. I want my husband & a normal life.

I was going to write this blog all about me being torn & BLAH feeling. But while I was typing something came to mind, well someone......Jesus. This past 2 weeks since I have been home I feel like I have strayed away from God. I didn't mean to, I just have been wrapped in my, "Oh poor me" that I haven't been as focused as I was. Jesus praying in the garden came to mind (fitting with being Easter too)

Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, "My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?" Matthew 26:39
He then left them a second time. Again he prayed, "My Father, if there is no other way than this, drinking this cup to the dregs, I'm ready. Do it your way." Matthew 26:42

Now Jesus dieing for our sins & me moving......not a good comparison, they are NO WHERE NEAR CLOSE....at all! BUT it just makes me think, Jesus knew what he had to do. He was scared but he knew it was what has to be done. And he did it, & I'm so thankful for that! So me being sad about leaving my hometown is NOTHING compared to this. Just makes you feel like nothing & selfish. But that man who died for me cares so much about me and even my selfish ways.

The House....

We got a house!! After many phone calls (from Lake Wales & Afghanistan) to housing we finally got something. AND I didn’t have to move. We were not suppose to get a house until mid April but the people who were a head of us on the list cancelled. I had to fly up Wednesday, sign on Thursday & I flew back down Friday. Thank goodness for my one friend up there, Katie! She picked me up, let me stay with them, drove me around & dropped me off.

The house is the same house we had before (2 story townhouse, 3 bedrooms/1 & half bath). BUT the lay out is flipped. So the house is totally opposite, that is kind of weird. My parents & I are driving up the weekend of the 9th & 10th of April. I should be in Fort Knox on my 25th birthday, at least my parents will be there with me. So I have 3 full weeks & 2 weekends left in good ole' L Dubb. But I’m so ready to go now. I’ll miss home but I’m going to be living with my husband in no time & I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

My New Obsession

Gees yall.....it has taken me forever to post this month for some reason! So finally I`m posting about my machine & all. This is my new love......it is a Brother Innov-is 1000. You really don`t have to do anything but just push buttons. No really....I don`t have to do anything haha. It took me a while to actually use it. I was just so scared I would break it. Finally I did & a made the apron I posted about earlier.

 

I got all the supplies at Wal-Mart, yes even the farbic. It is nice & heavy too. I can`t wait to cook in it once I get to Kentucky. I did have a few mess ups BUT I did not ask my mother for help. I wanted to do it all on my own. She won`t be there in Kentucky every time I mess up so I have to learn on my own.

Now on to the even better part......Monogramming! I love it, I get a little stressed because I`m still learning but I could monogram all day. When my husband gets back, I`ll most likely have every & any thing I can monogram in our house done!

This is my first item I did.....it is a Vera Bradley beach towel

This is the second item, another VB beach towel

I did not make the bloomers (maybe one day). I bought them at a local childern's boutique in our town. These are for my niece, Miss Finley

She was kind enough to model them for us : )

On other topics:

 I got a new devoation book. The name is Simple Compassion. I`m only into week 1 but I really like it. The whole theme is getting back to being like Jesus. Jesus was all about those who we would consider "below us". And we should be just like that.

My car is still not fixed....ugh.....AND I might be leaving for Kentucky WAY earlier then I thought. More like this weekend! AHHHH!!! Not to sure yet the date but I`m moving with in the next two weeks. I so want to be there because housing has been POOP & I want that to be all done with. And I want to get my house ready. But I hate leaving here....it's home but I`m taking one step closer to Matthew being home! I`m sad & excited all in one! So please pray for me this week....I need it big time!

Crappy Day.......

Any desperate day
One word I can pray
All I know to say - Jesus
Screaming from my soul
I’m giving up control
The only hope I know - Jesus

All my concerns my deepest hurt
My Savior’s been where I am
Life comes undone and there’s no one
Who understands like He can

So even if I stumble and my world is torn apart
There is One who’s holding my heart - Cadia

I heard this song at the end of a not so great day & it made me smile. Housing on the base we are stationed at called today & said I will be in temporary housing for 4 - 5 weeks before something permanent opens up....ugh. It kind of is fine because my Mom & I are going up this weekend to take a load and get the temp house. Then I`m going back up in 5 weeks....so it does work out. But I wanted something permanent so bad!

THEN while I was driving out to the ranch to pack up all the stuff I bought while I have been home.....I got in a wreck : ( It was my fault too. Thank goodness it was a family friend AND her car was totally fine. MINE not so much. The bumper is jacked up and I have to get it fixed. So that is 2 wrecks like with in a month.

I know life happens, but today I was just in a BLAH mood all day. At the end of a day like this I would LOVE to have a big ole glass of wine....but it is my Lent "give up". So I started thinking, "Maybe I`m being tested?" Then I heard that song & I was like JESUS!!! haha So what I got in a wreck. So what I didn`t get what I wanted for housing. My husband is at war in a foreign country, that little girl is dieing of cancer, there is so much worse things in life. But it is all "okay" if you just pray JESUS : )

P.S. my apron is DONE! I`ll post it tomorrow....I know yall are dieing to see it ; )

Cancer Sucks.......

laylagrace.org

Please visit this website. You know when you just start wondering through the world of blogs and come across something that jumps out at you. Usually for me it is nice things to buy or make. But today this blog grab me & I can`t let it go. I do not know these people but the story just broke my heart.

Their little 2 year old daughter has cancer, her name is Layla Grace. If you read the blog you will see that it is not going good. Ugh, that just makes me sick to my stomach. My mother is a two time breast cancer survivor, once when I was in 8th grade & the other my junior year of college. It was hard. To this day it is hard for me to talk about IF I ever even talk about it. But being a sweet little baby. Who is so innocent. Sometimes you wondering what God is doing in those situation.

You can make a donation to help the family pay medical bills. If not that just pray. Look at your children, or children you love like your own and THANK GOD for their health. Pray for this sweet baby & her family, that God will hold them in His hand during this difficult time.

My First Sewing Project......

I have had my machine almost two weeks.....& I haven`t sewn anything : ( I just haven`t had time with basketball still winning and going to the next game (I help coach cheerleading @ a local Christian college). I`m happy for Warner, but I want to sew! ANYWHO.....I actually have Saturday free! So I`m going to work on my first sewing project. I`m going to make an apron for myself.I got the pattern from this website:


http://thinkliz.com/free-sewing-patterns/

Check that website out. They have some cute stuff! So wish me luck! I hope Monday to have it done so I can show yall some pictures!

I Feel Different......

When Matt left for deployment the first time I was totally broken. I could have filled up a tube with all my tears. I was depressed, mean, sad, & all those fun kinds of feelings. I was worrying about him 24/7.

When Matt left for deployment the second time I was upset, but not broken. I cried a little, but not too much. I really don`t worry about him as much.

But why? Why was it not as bad as the first time? Well when he left the first time it was gonna be 8 months till we saw each other again. When he left the second time it is only 2 1/2 months till we see each other again (as of now 52 days till I see him!!). Now don`t get me wrong, I miss my husband like crazy. I would still give anything for him to be with me right now. But I can tell a difference in me from the first time he left. And take one guess what it is.....G-O-D. When Matt left the first time God wasn`t the center of my life. I prayed every night but it was for Matt's safety. I loved God, but I wasn`t working at my relationship with him. When he left this second time I put it ALL on God. I started following my way back to the path I got lost from. I can really feel a difference. Yes I still cry sometimes, the hurt of missing my husband is still there. But I just start talking to God about it. No, God doesn`t take the pain away, but it is comforting to know He is there & that He cares.