When Matt comes home at the end of April 2010, he will have been in the Army 2 years. In those two years, we will have been around each other 5 1/2 months.......yeah I know.
He went to basic first in OK, I saw him maybe 3 days when he graduated. Then he went to Maryland for AIT, I saw him 2 days there. He came home for a holiday for 3 days. Then he came home for 2 weeks for the wedding and honeymoon. That is around 3 weeks. Then we lived together for 4 months. He was then deployed. Then in January he gets his R & R which is like 2 weeks.
Now I know it is sad that I have only seen my husband that much in 2 years. And if you would have ever told me that before I met Matthew, I would have thought, "well that wouldn`t have worked out". But my love for him has not changed since that first day. It doesn`t even phase me too. I`m just so thankful God sent me Matthew. There is no one else other then him that I could have done this with. My love for him has gone beyond what I ever thought I could do. It just shows me that God really knew what he was doing.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
God is Banging on my Door!
I talked to Matthew on Thursday before I left for Auburn. I waited all weekend for a call but.....nothing. I texted (not sure if that is correct English??) him and usually he will text me saying, "Calm down, I`m fine, call you when I can," but.....nothing. So Sunday night I was WAY worried. Now, I`m not always worried about him, just some days are worse then others, and this was one of those days! So I laid in my bed and balled my eyes out, usually the only place I like to cry. I just prayed and prayed to God. "Please keep him safe and please let me hear from him soon" I prayed for probably 5 minutes. Then I heard my text alert go off. It was Matthew saying, "I love you. Glad your home, everything is fine." Then I started crying harder. I was pouring my heart out to God, and He took care of me. This is the second time this week that I just felt like God was talking RIGHT TO ME!
So God, you have my attention! I already felt last week that I needed to try harder at being a better Christian but WOW now I just feel rude if I didn`t! Even though I feel alone, like the third wheel, like everyone's lives are going on like normal and mine's on hold, that my best friend is not here to confide in & kiss......even though I feel like I`m on my own, I have God. He is always there listening to me and watching me. (sigh) He is such a great Man!
So God, you have my attention! I already felt last week that I needed to try harder at being a better Christian but WOW now I just feel rude if I didn`t! Even though I feel alone, like the third wheel, like everyone's lives are going on like normal and mine's on hold, that my best friend is not here to confide in & kiss......even though I feel like I`m on my own, I have God. He is always there listening to me and watching me. (sigh) He is such a great Man!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The Suffering Servant
Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this? The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through his bruises we get healed. We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost. We've all done our own thing, gone our own way. And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him. He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word. Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence. Justice miscarried, and he was led off— and did anyone really know what was happening? He died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of my people.
They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man, Even though he'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true. Still, it's what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he'd see life come from it—life, life, and more life. And God's plan will deeply prosper through him. Out of that terrible travail of soul, he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it. Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many "righteous ones," as he himself carries the burden of their sins.
Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly— the best of everything, the highest honors—
Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch, because he embraced the company of the lowest. He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many, he took up the cause of all the black sheep.
Isaiah 53, The Message
My devoation today had this passage in it. When I read it I felt like I got hit in the stomach. I read it and just stopped. I have never had a moment like I felt like God was like, "WAKE UP!" But wow I really felt it after reading it. I just sat and prayed and cried to God. We all work at being a better Christian. I work on talking about people, being nicer and not worrying so much about my looks. I struggle and lately I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. I still prayed and thanked God when something good happened. But I could just tell I wasn`t going any where. This passage opened my eyes. We think it is hard to be a Christian.....try being Jesus. And the thing is, He never fell. The devil tried but He kept on!
Also what got me was this was written hundreds of years before Jesus was born. Isn`t that crazy???? God knows it all. Sometimes I wonder how am I going to do this or pay for that. And I promise you, God ALWAYS provides. Never fails! It is just amazing, I can`t even wrap my mind around it! God is really great : )
They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man, Even though he'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true. Still, it's what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he'd see life come from it—life, life, and more life. And God's plan will deeply prosper through him. Out of that terrible travail of soul, he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it. Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many "righteous ones," as he himself carries the burden of their sins.
Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly— the best of everything, the highest honors—
Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch, because he embraced the company of the lowest. He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many, he took up the cause of all the black sheep.
Isaiah 53, The Message
My devoation today had this passage in it. When I read it I felt like I got hit in the stomach. I read it and just stopped. I have never had a moment like I felt like God was like, "WAKE UP!" But wow I really felt it after reading it. I just sat and prayed and cried to God. We all work at being a better Christian. I work on talking about people, being nicer and not worrying so much about my looks. I struggle and lately I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. I still prayed and thanked God when something good happened. But I could just tell I wasn`t going any where. This passage opened my eyes. We think it is hard to be a Christian.....try being Jesus. And the thing is, He never fell. The devil tried but He kept on!
Also what got me was this was written hundreds of years before Jesus was born. Isn`t that crazy???? God knows it all. Sometimes I wonder how am I going to do this or pay for that. And I promise you, God ALWAYS provides. Never fails! It is just amazing, I can`t even wrap my mind around it! God is really great : )
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Half Full or Half Empty
Today is a big day..........................HALF WAY THROUGH DEPLOYMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can not believe we are this far. And now it is all down hill from here. Also today Matthew and I have been married 10 months. I miss my husband more then ever.
Today I was thinking about how it is a little over 2 months till Matt is home for R & R. Last February was 2 months before Matthew left. Those 8 weeks felt so short. I wish so bad at that moment that time would slow down. Now it is close to being 8 weeks till he is back and now it feels like the longest time ever. I wish time would speed up! This is where the saying, "Glass half full or half empty" really fits. It is weird you can take the same amount of time but have two totally different perspectives. Last February the glass was half empty, I was depressed and sad. Now the glass is half full, I can not even explain to you my excitement for when he is home.
But always, it is how you see it. Trust in God and He can always make you see not so fun situations as half full : )
Today I was thinking about how it is a little over 2 months till Matt is home for R & R. Last February was 2 months before Matthew left. Those 8 weeks felt so short. I wish so bad at that moment that time would slow down. Now it is close to being 8 weeks till he is back and now it feels like the longest time ever. I wish time would speed up! This is where the saying, "Glass half full or half empty" really fits. It is weird you can take the same amount of time but have two totally different perspectives. Last February the glass was half empty, I was depressed and sad. Now the glass is half full, I can not even explain to you my excitement for when he is home.
But always, it is how you see it. Trust in God and He can always make you see not so fun situations as half full : )
Sunday, October 18, 2009
That Boy Sitting on the Cooler.....
I LOVE this weather! I love when you can wear jeans and a long sleeve shirt and not have to carry a jacket. It's the best.....but it does make me miss Matthew. This weather reminds me of the time I met him and feel in love (sappy, I know).
First semester of my sophomore year of college started off normal. Once the weather changed, we had bon fires about every weekend. One particular night at a bon fire I looked up and saw this boy sitting on a cooler staring at me. My first thought was, "Who is that? He is cute!". I realized I had a class with him, he was a freshmen, and I knew his name was either Case, Brad or Matt. I was dating someone else that first semester of college. But every bon fire "that boy sitting on the cooler" was there staring at me, and I couldn't help but stare back at him : ) One bon fire he was trying to act cool. I was sitting on a tailgate with some girlfriends and he went to sit in a chair right in front of me. One of his friends pulled the chair out from under him and he fell right under my feet. I leaned over and asked, "Are you okay?" hahaha If we only knew! Anyways, second semester rolled around and my relationship at the time ended. I went to workout and the only other person in the gym was "that boy sitting on the cooler". I got home and wrote him an e-mail and it was all over from there. The first time we "talked" in person was a cold night after a basketball game. The first time we kissed was a cold night after a bon fire. The first time he told me he loved me was a cold night sitting outside his house.
So every time it is cold and I smell a fire. I think of "that boy sitting on the cooler" in jeans, boots, a long sleeve shirt with a short sleeve shirt over it and his (BLAH) Alabama hat on. It just makes a huge smile come across my face. It takes me back every time. I can not wait for the day I get to see "that boy sitting on the cooler" again <3
First semester of my sophomore year of college started off normal. Once the weather changed, we had bon fires about every weekend. One particular night at a bon fire I looked up and saw this boy sitting on a cooler staring at me. My first thought was, "Who is that? He is cute!". I realized I had a class with him, he was a freshmen, and I knew his name was either Case, Brad or Matt. I was dating someone else that first semester of college. But every bon fire "that boy sitting on the cooler" was there staring at me, and I couldn't help but stare back at him : ) One bon fire he was trying to act cool. I was sitting on a tailgate with some girlfriends and he went to sit in a chair right in front of me. One of his friends pulled the chair out from under him and he fell right under my feet. I leaned over and asked, "Are you okay?" hahaha If we only knew! Anyways, second semester rolled around and my relationship at the time ended. I went to workout and the only other person in the gym was "that boy sitting on the cooler". I got home and wrote him an e-mail and it was all over from there. The first time we "talked" in person was a cold night after a basketball game. The first time we kissed was a cold night after a bon fire. The first time he told me he loved me was a cold night sitting outside his house.
So every time it is cold and I smell a fire. I think of "that boy sitting on the cooler" in jeans, boots, a long sleeve shirt with a short sleeve shirt over it and his (BLAH) Alabama hat on. It just makes a huge smile come across my face. It takes me back every time. I can not wait for the day I get to see "that boy sitting on the cooler" again <3
Friday, October 9, 2009
3 Months till R & R
Today is 3 months till Matt comes home for 2 weeks for R & R. At the end of this month he will have been gone 6 months, half way! I can not wait for the day to see him again. Just searching for a picture for my blog made me get butterflies just looking at his pictures : ). It will have been 8 months when we FINALLY see one another, crazy huh?!?!
With him being gone a year, my life has been "on hold". Couples are buying houses, having kids and enjoying being married. Part of me is jealous of all those happy couples. Now I`m not saying we are going to have kids soon. We got about 2 years or so. But the fact that they CAN is what I`m jealous of. I wish more then anything in this world I could lay down in my bed tonight and Matthew be there. I wish when I have a crappy day I could come home and cry about it to him. I wish I could just sit and watch TV with him. I wish we could do "married people activities" (wink wink).
So any happy couples I know or pass by if I: a.) ignore you b.) give you a mean look c.) run away crying......don`t take it personally.
With him being gone a year, my life has been "on hold". Couples are buying houses, having kids and enjoying being married. Part of me is jealous of all those happy couples. Now I`m not saying we are going to have kids soon. We got about 2 years or so. But the fact that they CAN is what I`m jealous of. I wish more then anything in this world I could lay down in my bed tonight and Matthew be there. I wish when I have a crappy day I could come home and cry about it to him. I wish I could just sit and watch TV with him. I wish we could do "married people activities" (wink wink).
So any happy couples I know or pass by if I: a.) ignore you b.) give you a mean look c.) run away crying......don`t take it personally.
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